Parallel Worlds
by TallerThanThou ShorterThanThou
Summary: There is no secret of life. There is only the sadistic tendencies of fate that try-and succeed in making you even more of an awkward teenager than you already are. And then there's me, who all this is happening to.


**Subject: u'll nvr guess **

**Guess what?**

**-Peace3**

_Subject: oh rlly?_

_No._

_-Yo mama_

**Subject: yes rlly**

**Dude…u suk. liek more than **

**the joker does on the batmans**

**bolas. & its not som3thing dumb**

**it's liek uh-mazingly cool. **

**cooler than u.**

**-lmao**_**yo**_**-mama**

_Subject: u sure?_

_Most things r cooler than me._

_-yo papa_

**Subject: u r cool 2!**

**I'm talking 'bout the drool worthy**

**hunk of a manga character. Itachi-kun!**

**-yo…um…u win**

_Subject: liek rlly, shinju_

_Who the hell's itachi-kun? a _

_random weasel?_

_-doubting friend's sanity_

**Subject: how dare ye?**

**Hear ye hear ye: itachi-kun is **

**a mega bishie in a mag called **

**Naruto!**

**-doubting **_**your**_** sanity**

_Subject: duh i dare_

_K then. my place, and bring_

_ur so called weasel-kun from_

_a mag called fishcake._

_-jeezums ur weirder than i thought_

**Subject: u think?**

**B ovr in 5 ^^**

**-puh-leez need i mention shunko?**

_Subject: u did not just go there_

_Stop texting me and haul some ass!_

_-that was 1 time, 1 time only_

**Subject: oh yes i just did**

**Fine. i'm ringing the doorbell!**

**-at ur front door with boxes of pizza**

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Hello. My name is Takumi, Takumi Himura. As you may have gathered, I have an annoying friend named Shinju. Her full name is Shinju Yamamoto, meaning something like, pearly mountain. And Takumi Himura means something like, artisan from a red village.

Yes, I know. Takumi is a boy's name. I however, happen to be a girl, and last time I checked, is still a girl and will continue to be a girl. Jeeze, my parents _must_ have had naming issues or just wanted to give Shinju something to lord over me. Whenever she gets pissed, she calls me Takumi-kun. It doesn't help that my chest is almost completely flat. Though the fact that Mom was a late bloomer (she didn't even get her first period until she was sixteen) might have had something to do with it. Stupid Mom and your stupid genetics.

The one good thing that came out of this? Shinju can be shortened to Shin, which is also a male's name. Now I feel completely justified in making fun of her.

As you may have gathered (yes, I know this is my second time using it), I am a weirdo. I am a sociopath extreme, and it has nothing to do with self confidence. It's just the fact that I find most things boring. Like right now, I find analyzing my life boring, because it _is_ boring. Thus the reason I have one friend, and one friend only: enter Shinju Yamamoto, who I was just telling you about. Not that you care.

So as I slid my crappy old Nokia back into my pocket, I answered the doorbell if only for the sake of my lovely pizza. Seriously, if you don't like pizza, then you've got grave issues. Bracing myself, I opened the door.

There was a reason for that; Shinju gave out the most vicious bear hugs, and between the pressure of her enviably large chest, and arms, your back could break. Shinju was in the habit of giving such hugs to most anyone (she's kind of popular), and I _mean_ anyone even if she'd only seen them a few hours ago. Don't get me wrong—it wasn't as if I hated her. No, she was my best friend (my only friend) and I'm entitled to resent the cantaloupes of doom at least a bit, right? Right.

"TAKUMI-CHAN!" There it was; the famous squeal of death before you got glomped. The girl _had _to weigh at least five more pounds than me even though I was taller. (Secret One: don't tell her (she's really sensitive on the subject of her boobs), but I think half her weight is from said cantaloupes of death)

"Yeah, I know. It's been really long, and—"

I didn't get to finish my sentence because I was now under 130 pounds of Shinju and I wasn't sure that I could cope. The pizza boxes were stacked precariously against the shoes rack and I scrambled to get them into the safety of the kitchen. (Secret Two: once again, don't tell, but I _have_ to be organized)

Critically, Shinju scanned my house. Its interior was the same as always, the desk I was working at in organized disarray (Okinawa-sensei would be so proud of me; I just used an oxymoron), the walls a mint green, the furniture simple and elegant. The outside was covered in peeling yellow paint and a large porch for summer nights out which was currently buried under two feet of snow. Ivy threatened to consume the house altogether. It was a very old house that Mom had inherited from her Mom. She'd almost lost her claim to it when she married my Father, who for some reason, Grams _hated_ with a passion.

It wasn't Shinju's first time coming here, and it definitely wouldn't be her last. But every time she came over, she'd look over my house in that weird way of hers. Personally, I think she's assessing whether or not I need a girls' night (or guessing as to how much food is in the 'fridge), because she can usually tell how much I've cooped myself up or haven't by the amount of work on my desk.

And of course, she decides I _do_ because she pulled out her not crappy new Nokia and told her Mom that she was spending the night at my place.

Damned teachers. They just _had_ to give out homework over Winter Break. Ugh.

"So," I drawled, ready to poke fun at the secret Manga Otaku I knew my friend was.

"So…MERRY CHRISTMAS!" And then she proceeded to shove all the existing volumes of Naruto into my hands. I staggered under the weight and had to struggle to place them on the couch. Giving her the best stink eye I could, I chucked the first book that came into my hands at her. Making good use of her athletic skills, Shinju dodged and it fell open to reveal the cutest boy of twelve ever seen.

Woah. If I were into pedophilia…

"That's Sasuke Uchiha," Shinju announced. My eyes twitched.

"Aren't you going to tell me a bit more?"

"_Hell no_. But remember this: Itachi-kun is his older brother, and if Sasuke looks like that, who do you think he got _his_ looks from?"

A sexy, more mature version of him, no duh. Shinju was right; he'd _have_ to be a mega bishie. But that still didn't mean I was going to read them! However…

"Who's Itachi Uchiha?"

"You have to find out yourself," Shinju laughed and stole my slice of pizza. Oh, this was so it! I'm going to read this series and finish before you and I'll spoil everything!

Oh, if only I knew then. If only I knew.


End file.
